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I am not my body

April 11th 2013 was a momentous evening as H.E. Tsem Rinpoche gave his first teaching at Kechara Forest Retreat. The teaching was about "Da-mey" - the no-self. What is the no self? Rinpoche began by asking where is the "I"? Is it in my finger? If it is, and I cut my finger off, then is that finger 'me'? If not, where am I? Is it the arm, the leg.. the head? If I am my head, then if I cut off my head, is my head 'me'? When we think about it, it's not. Then is it my torso? Actually, even my torso is not 'me'. So where is 'me'?

If we contemplate deeply about this question, we will realise that my body and I are not the same. This is a wrong perception of ourselves which we have held since we were born. This wrong perception is based on ignorance. What wrong perception have we been having? We have been thinking that this body is ONE with us. All our lives, we have been focusing on our body - to clean it, cloth it, pleasure it, to be lazy with it etc. "Our body is our temple" is taken literally. When we think that we are one with our body, we are constantly putting energy into pleasing it and to keeping it looking well and as youthful as possible - some going through extremes of plastic surgery to keep up appearances. However, we are actually trying to make what is a temporary place a permanent one. 

Sharon Stone

Jamie Lee Curtis

Rinpoche asked us to start meditating everyday that our body does not belong to us. We are simply temporary residents of that body. Why do we put so much energy into something we cannot keep and which will be discarded in the end? We need to disassociate ourselves with our body. When we do this meditation well, we will start to look at our body as a vehicle and not a property. We do not really own our bodies - why? Because we can never know when it will expire. As such, we have no control over it. However, by thinking that we own this body and that we have control over it, it creates tremendous suffering. 

We own our body as much as we own the body of the person next to us. But we think we own our body. We have insecurities over our body - it's too fat, too thin, too tall, too short. Our fears will increase with age, especially when our body begins to deteriorate. In time, we will lose control over our body - through illness or simply age. We will create problems for people around us as they have to help look after us when we physically cannot cope.

We have thought that we own our body all through our lives, and at the point of death, suddenly our body no longer belongs to us and it can be a rude awakening. Rinpoche said that it was like suddenly realising that you are adopted. Everything you believed in, everything you based your thoughts on, is not true. In that moment, you may be emotionally traumatised. However, once you realise you are adopted, after the tears and confusion and some anger perhaps, you will eventually settle down to realise this new truth about yourself. This is similar to coming to terms with the fact that we do not own our body. Think how many years you have wasted thinking that you own your body and you have become a slave to your body. Your body is NOT your property, it is your vehicle. The difference is that if it is your property, it becomes an object for self-indulgence. If it is your vehicle, it is an object to serve others.

People will sacrifice things with meaning in exchange for selfishness. This is not criticism but something to contemplate on and a process of self-discovery. When you disassociate yourself as a property and instead see your body as a vehicle, you open yourself to love with no agenda to everyone around you. It is effortless love from which we will serve others tirelessly. It is a vehicle also to something better, to something higher - to the ultimate goal of liberation and enlightenment.

When we think of our body in terms of something we own, it is all about me, me, me. When we operate from that perspective, our unhappiness increases and in time, our body will be our ultimate traitor. Why do we focus so much time and effort on something we do not own?

A vehicle takes us from A to B and by meditating on this, our bad habits become easier to let go of. Our restlessness will decrease and doing work for others becomes pleasurable. As you age, you become gracious, light, mature, respected, instead of becoming colder, less responsible, bitter and unhappy.

Rinpoche then cited Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela as examples of people who cared for others. It is not about what religion you follow but how you lead your life. Fear and insecurities always hide in the dark, so shine the light on yourself! Where there is light, there can be no darkness - dark and light cannot co-exist and I remember someone saying that darkness is merely a state where there is an absence of light. Darkness does not exist as a state of its own. Our delusions are like cockroaches - switch on the light and they scurry away!

Rinpoche then challenged us by asking us questions on selfishness. First he asked, have we all experienced selfishness from others. We all agreed that we had. Next he asked, have we all given pain to others because of our selfishness, we all agreed that we had. Therefore, he said that selfishness equals to hurt and selfishness is negative. Selfishness hurts - it hurts us and others.

To conclude, Rinpoche then told us to meditate on this everyday - that our body is not us. If we can meditate on this successfully, when we die, we do not need a Lama to perform powa (death transference meditation). We can just think of anything that reminds us of virtuous activity - monks, nuns, ladrang, tsoksha (monk's hat), and it will open up the good karma we have accumulated and we will have a good rebirth. Rinpoche did not mention it but of course the best to meditate on at our death is our spiritual teacher, our Yidam or our Dharma Protector - and best of all would be all three as one.

 

Liebster Blog Award Challenge

Thank you (I think) Shirley for nominating my blog  for this Liebster Blog Award Challenge.

As far as i know, the 'award' is to simply help bloggers spread awareness about each other’s blogs.

1) Every nominee has to write 11 interesting/little known facts about herself/himself.

2) Then answer 11 questions set by the person who has nominated her/him.

3) Then nominate 11 other bloggers to take the challenge (and set 11 questions for them).

I don't think i know of 11 other bloggers but let me start with 1, which is a very good place to start.

OK - 11 interesting/little known facts - well, here goes nothing.

1. I mummified my pet mouse when I was 11 years old. 

2. I applied for a job with Godiva chocolates in Picadilly but I was rejected because the manager said I was overqualified and would not stay in the job.

3. I won the Charles Wheeler Art Prize at school in the '80s and one of my art works was displayed at the Dulwich Picture Gallery. That was a real kick.

4. At school, I shared a room with another girl called Sharon. It was very confusing, especially when people would call out "Sharon" and we'd say, "which one?!" and we'd send Christmas cards to each other saying, "Dear Sharon, Merry Christmas, Love, Sharon".

5. I went to Florence once in my early 20s to learn Italian for two weeks. It was fantastic and I could converse in basic Italian after that. I've forgotten it all by now of course. 

6. I love snakes and used to go to the General Hospital Vivarium in Penang after school to look at snakes. I'd still love to have a pet snake someday.

7. My first job was as a music typesetter. My ex-husband's best friend, Mark, was a pioneer in typesetting music on a computer so I was hired at GBP5 an hour to typeset music in his garage.

8. Another job I had was stuffing envelopes in London. I had a huge stack of calling cards and I would make cold calls to ask if they were interested in an investment this company was selling, and if they wanted information, I'd post them some bumpf. I would spend all my daily earnings eating out. That didn't really work out long term!

9. I hate celery. The end.

10. I had tea with Roger Federer. I was invited by my mother's friend and spent a lovely afternoon with him and his then girlfriend now wife, Mirka. It was a small private affair and I appreciated the invite very much.

11. I had tea with the Queen (yes, at Buckingham Palace). Okay, there were a few hundred people there too LOL. But i did get to wander around the grounds and see Princess Diana up close and Prince Charles. 

OK - to answer the 11 questions from Shirley!

1) If you had to live with one type of cuisine for the rest of your life, what will it be?

Italian.. Italian.. Italian. Did I say Italian?

2) If you could have a superpower for one day, what will it be?

To be able to heal people.

3) Please complete the sentence. If money was not an issue, I would _sponsor H.E. Tsem Rinpoche's needs forever__

4) What is the one thing you would like to change about your life, if you could?

I wish I could be more beneficial to others.

5) Where would you like to live, if you could choose?

I don't think I could ever live in one place. 

6) If you were President for one day, what would you do?

I would slash the budget for buying arms and redirect it to social welfare! I guess I'd never get to be president because I'd be shot before that could ever happen.

7) What’s your favourite childhood memory?

My mom baking for us... she'd make cakes, meringues..

8) What’s the best holiday or vacation you have ever had?

Too many to count... i don't think i could pick the best but one of the most memorable is the trip to Langkawi with Shirley! Another was a completely spontaneous trip with Pat and Mike to Fuertoventura. We decided to go on holiday completely on the spur of the moment - literally bought the ticket and left in a few hours and it was an amazing trip! Lots of great memories.

9) Choose – True love but bad sex or Great sex without love?

True love of course.. true love without a doubt...

10) What you could not live without?

The Dharma.

11) If you are granted one wish today, what would it be?

To be unattached and fearless (oops is that two wishes?) instantly. 

And now for my 11 questions for David Lai, Jean Ai, Sean Wang... anyone else who would like to answer these questions can do so in the comment section below! 

1) Who is your most inspirational figure (living or dead) and why?

2) What is your favourite song and why?

3) If you were not doing what you're doing now, what would you be doing?

4) What was the happiest moment in your life?

5) If you could turn back time, what would you change in your life?

6) What is your favourite food?

7) If you had all the money in the world, what would you do with it?

8) What is your favourite movie or book and why?

9) Where do you see yourself in 5 years' time?

10) Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?

11) What is more important, peace or happiness?

Always Just Think Yes

This morning, Tsem Rinpoche asked us what we thought of these gorgeous new Vajrayogini statues. Then he asked who wanted one, which perked us all up even though it was like 4.30am. Of course we were immediately waving our arms in the air except for one person. Rinpoche said we should have all put up our hands and spontaneously gave a short Dharma talk.

  Vajrayogini

Rinpoche said that whenever anyone offers you anything to do with Dharma, always accept. It creates the causes to have affinity to Dharma in future. The particular item may not be what you need, or want, but don't think "oh I already have one" or "I don't have space for it" or "where will I put it?". Don't think so much about the practicalities. Always just think yes, I want it.

It is not the object but what the object represents - which is the Dharma. Also, if your lama tells you that you are lazy or stupid or whatever, don’t dissect it and analyze if you are or not. Just immediately think “May I not have this quality in future”, and this will create the causes for not having these negative qualities in future.

I found this teaching profound as Rinpoche's teachings always are. 

Support Animal Care - a morning with Pastor Susan

Pastor Susan Lim has always been crazy about animals. She can have the worst day in the world and be grouchy as hell but when an animal walks by, she immediately flashes her 1000 kilowatt smile and softens down. As a result, our house has become an animal shelter of sorts. Currently, we have 7 cats, 2 dogs and a couple of squirrels. Some we had adopted and some had adopted us.

A couple of the cats just visited one day and decided to stay. One of them was thrust upon us because he ran into my friend's house and she didn't know what to do with it. This cat looks like it has epilepsy and when we first got him, he could barely walk as he had very little motor skills. We decided to call him "Dorje" which means indestructible in Tibetan. And he really is! We are constantly amazed that he is still around. He even guards our house and caterwauls at intruders - seen and unseen!

The squirrels just come for the not inexpensive Science Diet cat food and have the glossiest coats I have ever seen. I see my cats lying down and watching the squirrels eat their food. So much for rodent catchers. Talking of rodents, we also had a baby rat stay for awhile, then it left. I think someone must be putting a sign somewhere saying "go to this address for free food". Once i had an sms from Susan telling me that if i came home and saw a monkey, she didn't bring it home. Apparently a monkey also liked to drop by and helped himself to our potatoes and bananas.

Anyway, that is just the background to our menagerie. Recently, Susan has been busy helping the animals at Kechara Forest Retreat. She would go there to help bathe them when she had time. Yesterday, we went to KFR and we saw one of the puppies on top of some garbage pile, we were about 30 feet away but Susan called out to it to get down and amazingly enough, the puppy immediately did! All the dogs came to greet her too. I really think she is a dog whisperer. HE Tsem Rinpoche loves animals very much also so Susan and Rinpoche have this passion and compassion for animals in common. They both have bags of dog food in their car so that they can feed strays.

Susan at KFR with a puppy havng a nap on her lap!

Spaying stray dogs is crucial to curbing uncontrolled animal population growth. This is especially important for KFR otherwise we would not be able to cope. For the past few days, Susan has taken four dogs to be spayed at a vet. Spaying is not a cheap option. For a female dog, surgery would cost an average of RM200-250, and then she would have to board with the vet while she recuperates, which typically is for 10 days. Boarding can cost from RM15-30 per night, so the average cost for a female dog to be spayed is around RM300-400. For a male dog, it is cheaper at around RM250-300. This doesn't take into account driving to and fro from Bentong, which would cost around RM30 with fuel and tolls per trip. Susan is now fund raising for this as there are still many animals which need to be spayed. If you would like to contribute, please let me or Susan know.

Susan needs:

• Funds for vets fees (spaying and medical treatment)
• Pet food
• Animal crates in good condition
• Volunteers to help send animals to the vet
• A van would be great!

My son, Sean, is also involved in raising awareness for Animal Cruelty and vegetarianism. Inspired by Tsem Rinpoche, he and a group of kids started a facebook page called Animal Befrienders Coalition (ABC) - please do support them by liking their page.

Yesterday, I went with Susan to drop off two dogs for spaying at the vet, then we went to KFR, where Susan collected another two dogs. This morning, I also followed her to the vet and thought I could grab a quick lunch with her before I go off to work, but Dechen, one of the dogs which we took to the vet today, decided to hop over to the backseat of Susan's car (thank god it was Susan's car and not mine) and poop all over the backseat. The blue plastic cover which was supposed to protect the car seats had been put on wrongly so it did not quite cover the seat. As a result, there was poop all over the backseat, which was mashed in by Dechen scrambling around. 

After we sent the dogs in, we went to a petrol station nearby to ask them to wash the car but they refused. So I went to Guardian pharmacy to buy a shitload of wet wipes and Susan cleaned the best she could. I hope the carwash near Kechara in Sunwaymas will be more amenable to cleaning it! I just wanted to share this so that people know what goes on behind helping animals. It's not all cute fluffy animals and sometimes it can be pretty shitty - literally. But when you see people happily doing whatever it takes to benefit animals who can never thank them, I hope it inspires people to think what can I do to support. It is great to think wow - these people are doing wonderful work, but let's not stop there. Let's see what we can do - please support Susan in her work.

This is Pastor Susan putting the leash on one of the dogs
from KFR, ready to take them to the vet.

Pupun and Marco in our airwell at home.

Today, on the way to the vet, Dechen decided to poop all over Susan's backseat!

We took the car to the carwash at a petrol station and they refused
to help wash it! So here is Susan doing it herself.

 

 

 

Pythagoras believed in Reincarnation

Today, I read about the great Greek philosopher and mathematician Pythagoras (c. 570-495 BC) who believed in reincarnation... and he wasn't even a Buddhist. He said, "All things change, nothing perishes. As a wax is stamped with certain figures, then melted, then stamped anew with others, yet it is always the same wax. So, the soul being always the same yet wears at different times different forms."  http://www.bartleby.com/181/341.html

It was this belief that made Pythagoras a vegetarian and it was a philosophy he advocated to his many students.

It made me think that perhaps if people stop associating reincarnation with Buddhism and dismissing it because of that association but instead, look at reincarnation on its own merits, they would be more open to the concept. Buddha did not invent reincarnation, he merely explained his observation of it. We may not be able to prove reincarnation scientifically at the moment but it does not mean that we will not be able to in the future. After all, if 200 years ago, you said that we would be able to fly 180,000 pounds of metal in the sky with hundreds of people in them, people would have called you mad.

Reincarnation is not a Buddhist concept but a universal one. 

For some interesting articles/documentaries on reincarnation, please see:

Reincarnation - true or false?

Talk on reincarnation by HH the Dalai Lama

Another proof of reincarnation

 

Can eating meat ever be justified?

Eating meat has become the culturally and socially accepted norm, but it doesn't mean that it is right. There simply isn't any justification for eating meat. People say that they need meat for health reasons but we can get protein from mushrooms, soy, beans etc. Look at Patrik Baboumian, Germany’s Strongest Man in 2011. Also, there are vegetarian and vegan athletes who do not look at all unhealthy to me!

HE Tsem Rinpoche blogged about the above picture today. He said, "Everyone has flesh, bones, nerves, tendons, veins, blood and sensitivity. Anything that is in the human and animal kingdom will have this and definitely can feel agony, fear, pain and tremendous horror. If this was done to you, would you enjoy it? I don’t think so. So if we do this to animals, it does not serve them or us any purpose. Why perpetuate pain to beings who can feel pain. We should do our best to create no pain for others."

The question about eating free range animals is moot because in the end, in order to eat the meat, you still kill the animal. However humanely the animal is killed, it is still killing. What right do we have to take a life? When human lives are taken by wild animals - and they really don't have a choice - we immediately retaliate and kill the animal and even their families. Yet we happily kill animals without compunction for purely selfish and unnecessary reasons - merely to satisfy our tastebuds.

Some people say, "OK so I am selfish. So what?"

Well, there is karma involved.

"But I don't believe in karma," they say.

Well, even if you do not believe in it, it is still there and you will still be subject to it. If you don't believe in a particular law of the land, you are still subject to it. The law works whether you believe in it or not - or the Buddhas are wrong.

"But I am not Buddhist," they say. 

Buddha did not invent the law of karma, he merely observed it, understood how it works and taught us so that we can save ourselves a lot of grief. Karma is not just a law for Buddhists. It is a universal law and I guess everyone will find out if it is true or not when they die, and by then it's far too late. By the law of karma, those who are so selfish that they do not care about the sufferings of the animals have a strong likelihood of being reincarnated as the very animals who suffer while waiting to be slaughtered for food - and the cycle continues. The results resemble the causes.

There are people on my facebook who say they get upset when i post up images like this. It makes them uncomfortable and they will unfriend me if i post more. I just told them to go ahead but it is sad that they would rather pretend it doesn't happen so they can continue to eat meat without feeling guilty. It's good that Rinpoche constantly reminds everyone of how the meat ends up on their dining table.

It is because of Rinpoche's passionate promotion of vegetarianism and compassion for animals that many Kecharians and fans of Rinpoche's social media have become vegetarian and spared many lives. Even the kids' Animal Befrienders Coalition, which my son, Sean, is part of, is doing quite well in promoting the awareness of cruelty to animals to more and more people. When the buying stops, the killing will too!

Just move that sofa!

 

 

Last night, Rinpoche shared an interesting concept with us. All of us have attachments, but we should change our attachments from mundane things that never last to the Dharma, which will bring us permanent happiness. Everything in life which we are attached to - our family, our partner, our children, our parents, our house, our money, our holidays - WILL be removed eventually. By their departure, by their illness or death and ultimately, everything is removed at OUR death.

However, even for those of us who theoretically understand this, we still live our lives with our attachments as the focus. How many of us say we cannot do Dharma full time because we have to look after our family, we love our job, we have aging parents etc. And we spend our lives doing these priorities, then at death, what do we take with us when we die? For all the people we say we love, what do we have to dedicate to them? How can we help them in their next life? We can give them shelter, education and food now but how do we help them on an ultimate level?

For adults, many of my friends have said they MUST travel, because it enriches their lives. According to the Dharma though, how does travels help you when you die? The so-called good memories will do nothing. They do not give any qualities that will benefit your next life. Instead, holidays can be seen as a waste of time and resources better spent on benefit others or even yourself.

When we are attached to mundane or worldly issues, and that is our priority or focus in life, then we create the negative karma to be more attached to these issues and strengthen our negative habituations which keep us suffering in samsara longer. 

So what can we do?

Rinpoche said we should just rearrange our living room. For example, if our altar is on the side, and the main focus of our living room is the sofa, we should rearrange our living room so that the altar becomes the main focus, and the sofa, TV, fish tanks etc is on the side. 

How that works is that whenever we come into the room, our attention will focus on the altar and not on the sofa, TV and other things. Rinpoche said that it does not mean that we throw the sofa out, but we just put it on the side for now. This is because laypeople perceive that it is difficult to practice renunciation, so rather than ask us to renounce our attachments, how about just putting it to the side. We do not have to remove it from the room, but just rearrange the room. We can still see our attachments but they are not the main focus.

As we focus on Dharma and accumulate merits through Dharma work, we will be able to transform our minds and develop renunciation. When we develop renunciation, it will be easy to remove the attachments and gain happiness. Rinpoche also said that if we want to move the sofa out now, today, we cannot because it's too heavy. But if we exercise and get fit, after some time, when we are strong enough, it is easy to remove the sofa because we are physically prepared to do so. This was a great analogy for mentally putting aside our attachments until we are strong enough to cut them off completely.

We just have to get off our asses and move that sofa to the side - for now!

 

If Not Now, When - reviewed in The Sun newspaper

The third edition, also known as the LOVE edition, of If Not Now, When was reviewed by The Sun newspaper today. This compilation of inspirational quotes by HE Tsem Rinpoche is one of my favourite books. I say that without bias even though i am one of the editors! 

I must say this edition is really spectacular with a completely different look - new photographs as well as additional quotes on 'love', hence the Love edition. A perfect birthday/mothers' day/fathers' day/valentines' gift! We have received great feedback on this book and it is one of Kechara's most popular books as the quotes are inspirational, provocative and universally applicable, regardless of your religion or culture.

It is available at all good bookstores (if you go to a bookstore and they haven't got it, ask them why!) or online at Vajrasecrets.com. 

(Review) If Not Now, When?

Posted on 23 January 2013 - 03:56pm

Book review by Michele Theseira
lifestyle@thesundaily.com

THE book If Not Now, When? made its debut in 2008. It came as a ­compilation of selected quotations and excerpts from the teachings of His Eminence Tsem Rinpoche, who is the founder and spiritual guide of the Buddhist organisation Kechara in Malaysia.

Having received such positive feedback from readers who said their lives were further inspired by the contents of the book, a second edition called If Not Now, When? The Peace Edition was published a year later.

Similar rave ­reviews paved the way for this third volume, just as­ ­eye-­opening and inspirational.

It’s amazing how short phrases and brief quotes, even images, can touch the heart and open up the mind.

This edition is a great read for those with many ­questions on such matters as joy and sadness, peace and anger, commitment and irresponsibility, ­harmony and conflict, as well as love and fear.

There’s also a chapter on the Eight Verses of ­Transforming the Mind, which could come as New Year ­resolutions to work towards attaining.

Apart from the beautiful words and complementing photographs, the messages and realisations picked up by the mind stirs the soul.

This is a good book to cosy up to on a weekend as you ponder about life and what’s important. And it also makes for a great gift.

 

Relationships and attainments

One of the most interesting teachings I received recently was on relationship and Buddhism. In a nutshell, i learned that as long as we are in a relationship, we will never receive attainments. Same goes if we have children. This is because we see these few people - our partner or our children - as special. We think of them differently, we 'love' them more etc. As long as we have stronger feelings for certain people, we cannot have equanimity for all. As long as we cannot have equanimity, we cannot have bodhicitta. As long as we cannot have bodhicitta, we cannot have attainments. It is a logical perspective and definitely something to think about. 

Sean turns 15

Time flies so fast. I remember when he was just a smiling baby in my arms and now he's a strapping lad who is a whole head taller than me. He turned 15 on Tuesday and as I had a meeting scheduled on Tuesday itself, I told him I'd take him for his birthday dinner on Monday evening. Since it was just the two of us, I called an old friend, Pat and her son, Josh, to join us while en route to the restaurant. Of course, as it was already around 8pm at that time, Pat already was about to have dinner at home but she invited both of us over instead. So we had some homecooked dinner while we all caught up with each other's news.

Sean and I got home about 11.30ish and when the clock struck midnight, Susan and I wished him happy birthday and gave him an angpow. On his birthday itself, he followed me to my office and helped me make calls to the media as I was organising a press event the next day. I bought a cake which we cut in the office with my colleagues and one of Sean's friends, Lucas. 

Later, my meeting was delayed so I asked him what he'd like to eat. Kechara Oasis, he said, but I didn't have time for driving over there so we just had porridge with Susan in SunwayMas. He also offered a bouquet of roses to Rinpoche for his birthday which came from his birthday angpows. It has become a Kechara tradition to make an offering to our Guru on our birthdays, so that we focus on the person who is most important in our lives, instead of on ourselves. 

On the way home, I asked him if he had a good birthday. He said he did. We also briefly discussed the fact that birthdays are not so important really. In fact, our Guru, Tsem Rinpoche always never liked celebrating his birthday. It is after all only one more year closer to our deaths. A bit morbid but so true. I joked with Sean about having porridge on his birthday but he said it was okay and he was glad he did some dharma work on his birthday. I looked at him and thought to myself, my son is not bad at all.